My Internal Chain of Command

An exploration of my trauma through internal family systems, exploring the human connection and sharing survivor stories of those who have faced trauma, survived, and continue to heal.

    The Archives: A Timeline of My Journey So Far

    A chronological collection of my journey through trauma, healing, self-discovery, and growth. Start at the beginning and follow along as I learn to understand my patterns, confront my past, and uncover the person beneath them.

    • Survivor Stories, Part 2: Lindsey Allen-Conley

      Lindsey Allen-Conley on survival, healing, love, and becoming herself after trauma. Introduction In Survivor Stories, Part 1, we heard from Lindsey Allen-Conley as Michael’s spouse—someone who loved and supported him as he shared his story. In Part 2, we hear from Lindsey as a trauma survivor herself, with her own history, strength, grief, humor, and…

    • When Firefighters Are Used to Numb the Pain

      Chapter VII – Understanding numbing firefighters through Internal Family Systems, compassion, and the parts of us trying to survive. Trigger warning: This post discusses eating disorders, self-harm, substance use, overdose risk, compulsive behaviors, pornography, shame, and suicide risk. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm,…

    • People Pleasing as a Manager and how it becomes Self-Abandonment

      Chapter VIII – How an IFS Protector Turns Fear into Compliance—and How to Reclaim Your Voice Summary: People pleasing can look like kindness, flexibility, or loyalty while quietly teaching you to ignore your own needs. Through an Internal Family Systems lens, this article explores how the People Pleaser tries to prevent conflict, rejection, and abandonment—and…

    • Survivor Stories – Episode 1: The Story behind the Stories

      # Survivor Stories — Episode 1 ## The Story Behind the Stories **What happens when the person telling the story is still living it?** In the first episode of **Survivor Stories**, Jarod introduces himself, shares the experiences that brought him to this point, and explains why he created this podcast. Jarod talks about military service,…

    • The Giver and the Taker: Breaking the Cycle of Losing Myself

      How trauma-driven people pleasing turned love into over-functioning—and what I am learning about boundaries, accountability, and staying present in my own life Summary: I believed giving more would close the distance in my marriage. Instead, trauma-driven people pleasing taught me to over-function, silence my needs, and accept too little in return. Through Internal Family Systems,…

    • Survivor Stories – Episode 2: The Riverbank

      # Survivor Stories — Episode 2 ## One Chain, One Memory, One Story In Episode 2 of *Survivor Stories*, Jarod introduces his co-host and longtime friend, Mike. Jarod and Mike have known each other since 2010, when they served together in the National Guard during Operation Unified Response, assisting with earthquake relief in Haiti. Over…

    • Survivor Stories – Episode 3: Trash Talk and True Love

      Survivor Stories Episode Show Notes In this episode of Survivor Stories, Jared and Mike sit down with Amber and Luke for a deeply personal conversation about trauma, survival, mental health, relationships, and the long road toward healing. Amber shares her experiences with childhood trauma, growing up around addiction, military sexual trauma, postpartum depression, unhealthy relationships,…

    • What Shame Was Carrying: Accountability, Healing, and Telling the Truth

      Chapter IX – How Internal Family Systems helped me face two memories, reclaim my integrity, and live on my own terms Understanding the Shame Exile For years, I carried two memories as evidence against myself. One took me back to a moment when I betrayed my own integrity. The other returned me to a terrified…

    • Survivor Stories – Episode 4: Beyond Her Last Goodbye

      Survivor Stories – Episode 4: Finding Hope Beyond Her Last Goodbye Trigger Warning This episode of Survivor Stories contains discussions of suicide, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, and suicide loss. It also includes personal accounts of childhood abuse, sexual assault and rape, being held hostage, abusive relationships, trauma, PTSD, mental illness, grief, and the loss of…

    • Survivor Stories – Episode 5: Things I Learned to Carry

      #Generational Cycles: Brittney’s Journey Through Trauma and Healing Podcast: Survivor Stories: Breaking Silence, Changing Stigma Guest: Brittney Hawks Hosts: Jarod, Mike, and Lindsey Episode Description What happens when the experiences that shape us as children continue to affect our relationships, our self-worth, and the way we navigate adulthood? In this episode of Survivor Stories, Brittney…